Issue 15 - Love

Published 01/15/2026

As I flip the calendar page, I am reminded it is time for another Refiner’s Fire issue. When thinking of a topic for February, I gravitated to love. After all, it is Valentine’s month. I hope each of you has experienced love throughout your life. I am one of the lucky ones; I was raised with very loving parents and siblings. I have also been loved by so many – my spouse and children, granddaughter, other relatives, and friends.

I use a daily prayer format during devotion time. The acronym is ACTS – Acknowledge, Confess, Thank, and Supplicate. It has provided a needed order because I can get lost in unstructured prayer. As I offer thanksgiving, I always thank God for the love of family and friends – I count many of you in that number. I offer thanks for those who told me about and lived out the story of Jesus. I also give thanks to those who have prayed and continue to pray for me and my family. In sum, I am loved and very thankful for it.

February is a month of love – we typically focus on romantic feelings. I bet many of you remember grade school Valentines distributed by friends, little candy hearts with messages. As we got older, you may recall the challenge of being without a Valentine on February 14^th.

For this issue, we delve into love as deeply held affection, not necessarily romantic affection, though I hope those experiences have come your way. I am really talking about caring – tender attachment to someone or something.

It is easy to have deep affection for someone who feels the same way towards you. It gets tough when we are called to show love or tender attachment to those with whom we disagree, those who may have harmed us physically or emotionally, those who see the world differently. Lately, I have not felt much love. I see people bullied, arrested, imprisoned, and killed – I regularly observe our leaders failing to show empathy or compassion to those who (I have said this before) do not look, pray, vote, sound, or love like them. In the place of love, we have seen a doubling down on hatred – an appalling insensitivity.

Two weeks ago, I experienced something new. You see, I am a glass-half-full guy. That said, I was saddened by the state of our country: the meanness, the apparent lack of a response or even concern from much of the Christian community. I was as close to depression as I have ever been. At the encouragement of my dear wife, I turned my attention to things that were uplifting – books, music, devotions. Within a few days, I gradually turned the corner. The national chaos and unkindness continued, but God’s love lifted me. I bet some of you remember that hymn – Love Lifted Me. I my case, God’s deeply held affection (even for Bill) changed my trajectory.

Challenging Verses

Mark 12: 28-34

28 One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” 29 “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. [a] 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ [b] 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ [c] There is no commandment greater than these.” 32 “Well said, teacher,” the man replied. “You are right in saying that God is one and there is no other but him. 33 To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.” 34 When Jesus saw that he had answered wisely, he said to him, “You are not far from the kingdom of God.” And from then on no one dared ask him any more questions.

Loving God

There is a lot to unpack here. My son-in-law told me that his friend had jokingly said God cut to the chase after providing the ten commandments – that is, through Jesus, He simply narrowed it to two – the verses highlighted above. Love God and love your neighbor as yourself. Let us start with the greatest commandment – to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. This is admittedly a high bar. We are to show deeply held affection for God – an affection that dominates us in every way. In my book Mean Christianity (2018) I speak of levels of commitment I have observed/lived both in my faith walk and the walks of others. I suggested that, as Christians we can compartmentalize our faiths so that they require of us only what we want to give, or we can choose to be all in. In Mark verses 29-30, we are called to be all in. I will be honest and say that I am seldom all in – being so is aspirational.

So, what keeps us from “all in love” for God? In my life, it is love for other stuff – primarily myself, my resources, my charmed life… The constant in that list is the word MY. Yes, I get in the way. My priorities, my desires - me, me, me. It is only when I look away from me that I can love God fully. Remember last month we spoke of vertical and horizontal morality (See January Refiner’s Fire). I shared that these two notions are not exclusive – that is, our moral allegiance to God (vertical) necessitates a moral allegiance to others (horizontal) – all others. I shared that Christ’s birth, life, death, and resurrection bridged any gap between these two perspectives. I need God’s fire here. What about you?

Loving My Neighbor as Myself

We must start this discussion with a simple question – Do you love yourself? Much of what we see in today’s world – anger, tribal responses, and simple meanness – starts with people who do not love themselves. It is hard to love others if, for whatever reason, you do not love yourself. Have you have been told you are not worthy, do you have a past that haunts you, have you been fed a transactional line suggesting loving self is tied to how you must live – a quid pro quo?

Loving self begins with God’s grace. Stop letting others devalue you. Every day, you can start fresh with God by claiming His grace in your life. God certainly loves you and that is enough.

Our next question is one Jesus was asked Himself – Who is my neighbor (Luke 10)? Of course, this is answered with the story of the good Samaritan. We all know the parable. The man is attacked, robbed, and left for dead. Many pass by and do nothing, but the Samaritan, the outcast of society, stops and shows exceptional kindness to the man, providing for both his immediate and future needs. In today’s world the Samaritan would be the immigrant, the LGBTQ man or woman, the Muslim, Jew, Buddhist, Hindu, or person of other faiths, the individual who does not think, speak, or vote like you… The answer is clear – Everyone is our neighbor – We are to love EVERYONE.

Just days ago, the Speaker of the House Mike Johnson tried to justify the current administration’s often violent actions towards immigrants and protesters with the words of the apostle Paul in Romans chapter 13 – words that call for subjection to higher authorities. I will remind Mr. Johnson of Paul’s own words (1 Corinthians) that we are not to follow him or other apostles but are to follow Christ. Mind you, I have great admiration for Paul, his life, and his ministry. I would also tell Mr. Johnson that the church in Rome was under Roman tyranny and Paul’s words were intended to encourage a response to harsh rule other than rebellion. Finally, I would share that this very chapter was used by slave holders prior to the Civil War to support slavery and Nazis in WWII to legitimize their regime’s actions towards suppressed groups, including Jews.

Cherry picking verses to support unpopular and inhumane policies is never a good idea. My pastor says not to cite Romans 13 without first encouraging a thorough reading of Romans 12 – a clear call to transformed living. Before leaving this topic, it is worth noting that those seeking verses to support submission to authorities fail to note the almost ninety Biblical references to offering kindness to strangers and immigrants.

I struggle to love everyone. I struggle with everyone being my neighbor – especially when I see such vitriol in today’s world. I desperately need God’s Fire – I bet you do too.

Actions to Take

Here I am again, an old man with a keyboard reluctantly giving advice. What are we to do with these verses? In the month ahead could we simply ask God to turn our attention away from self – to think of and love Him and others? Could we embrace God’s grace and love ourselves – not in self-serving ways – but in ways that open us to others? Finally, could we expand our notion of neighbor? May I suggest we start with one group with which we struggle. Put yourself in their path. Show them kindness. Remember that God is in each of us and to reject anyone is to reject Him.

Closing Prayer

“Holy Spirit, trouble me and guide me. Speak to me and show me your will. I long to be obedient, responding to your call on me” (Mercado Reyes).