Issue 11 - Mercy

Published 10/15/2025

October is here! What was a smattering of color a month ago is quickly becoming an amazing show of God’s handiwork. I cannot leave my house without encountering breathtaking mountain views. Yet, I still seem to ignore or be distracted from my surroundings too often. A former colleague recently shared his ongoing cancer story on Facebook. This individual has a deep appreciation for the world around him. After receiving treatment last week, he posted, “Every moment of consciousness is a gift.” He nailed it! Every moment is a gift. I want to live into that statement – to relish the time God gives me by becoming more like Jesus. I realize I will fail often, yet thank God I can lean into His grace.

This year has been a journey for readers of The Refiner’s Fire. What started as a presentation of tenets of the Christian faith from my qualitative study of the canonical gospels (Mean Christianity: Finding Our Way Back to Christ’s Likeness, 2018) has evolved into a discussion of tools Christians desperately need in a daily walk that seeks spiritual refinement. We have reviewed forgiveness and grace, two critical concepts in the Christian life. This month, we will consider mercy. Before doing so, let us take a minute to look at the relationship between these three actions.

In my book, I suggest that forgiveness, grace, and mercy are similar. In fact, we often see these terms used interchangeably. What do they have in common? I argue it is their origin and motivation. That is, the ability to completely forgive others and offer grace and mercy emerges from a deep and abiding love. Without love, we struggle to forgive and certainly are reluctant to offer grace or unmerited favor. As we will learn in this issue, extending mercy without love is even more unlikely. Humanity’s dilemma is that the deep love triggering these responses is not common. For me, and most Christians, that love can only come from God’s transforming influence in our lives.

How do forgiveness, grace, and mercy differ? Again, these actions are closely tied, yet they are additive. That is, forgiveness is the catalyst for grace, which is, in turn, foundational for mercy. This may seem simple, yet it captures the interrelatedness of these ideas.

If we are trying to use forgiveness, grace, and mercy transformatively, we must start by praying for a heart that offers and extends forgiveness as God does. I believe doing so will make grace and mercy more likely.

Mercy

Mercy was described to me by a former pastor as removing one’s foot from the neck of another when their fate is unquestionably deserved. Mercy then offers grace (unmerited favor) when doing so flows counter to every fiber of your existence. Let us be honest – this is difficult.

Jesus clearly calls us to be merciful. Indulge me as I share a direct quote from my book.

What about learning from a merciful action of Jesus? There are plenty of examples, but one stands out – the woman caught in adultery (John 8:3-11). It was early morning, and Jesus had returned to the temple to teach. A crowd had gathered as the teachers of the law and the Pharisees appeared with an adulterous woman. Her accusers made her stand before the crowd and then said to Jesus, ‘Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now, what do you say?’

There is a lot to unpack here. First, I must wonder why the woman’s accusers left her partner out of this encounter. We can only assume the patriarchal society of the day supported the idea that she carried the primary blame. I bring this up to point out that the woman in question was truly at the bottom of society’s barrel. Interestingly, we often find Jesus caring for such people.

I can only imagine the perspectives of all involved. The crowd was likely stunned and maybe a little embarrassed. They knew the law and the peril it posed for the woman. Some might have breathed a sigh of relief, thinking, “Whew, this could have been me last week.” Still others probably got a little excited at the prospect of violent justice. Whatever perspective those in the crowd held, we can be assured they were at the edge of their seats with anticipation.

What about the woman? Was she feeling embarrassment, fear, misfortune? My guess is that a host of emotions swirled in her mind as she stood before the crowd, her accusers, and Jesus.

And Jesus, what were His thoughts? Maybe a little bit of ‘Here we go again.’ He knew the hearts of everyone in the crowd. I also believe He knew the seriousness of the moment and the weight His response would carry. Jesus had the opportunity to add His foot to the woman’s neck – to make her an example – to follow the letter of God’s law. Remember, I have said that we all have times in which we are at the center of a decision to offer mercy or not. Jesus was there. What did He do?

He bent down and started writing on the ground with His finger. The hand that formed creation took time to make a doodle. Why? I believe Jesus was interjecting a moment of calm assurance into a hot situation. In that instance, I think every person in that crowd took their eyes off the woman to look at His writing. What did it say? We can only imagine. The point is it got everyone’s attention. It introduced focus and calm into an otherwise uncomfortable event.

We know what happened next. The questions continued and Jesus rose to respond, saying, ‘Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.’ In our entire lifetimes, few of us will utter such a powerful line. He knelt and began to write once more. One by one, stones dropped, and accusers departed. When they had all left, Jesus simply asked, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?’ And she replied, ‘No one sir,’ to which He said, ‘Then neither do I condemn you, go and leave your life of sin’ (Mean Christianity, p. 105-106).

Bryan Stevenson, a Christian lawyer and author, compels us to be preemptively merciful. In his words, “Today, our self-righteousness, our fear, and our anger have caused even Christians to hurl stones at the people who fall down, even when we know we should forgive or show compassion…we can’t simply watch that happen…we have to be stone catchers” (Just Mercy, p. 309).

Living in the Breach

A breach is a gap. To live in the breach means to live between what is comfortable and what makes us squirm. It is uncomfortable to offer mercy. Unfortunately, we are built to seek retribution – to be on one side – the side we are certain is right. Being merciful is living in the breach – reacting counterintuitively.

Prevailing voices call for anything but mercy. After the recent tragedy of Charlie Kirk’s death, his wife publicly offered his killer forgiveness. She also spoke openly of God’s grace. I have little doubt that Erika Kirk, a professing Christian, will strive to be merciful. Erika’s comments were met with vocal praise by the tens of thousands of attendees and viewers of Mr. Kirk’s memorial service. After Mrs. Kirk spoke, our president came to the podium and openly professed hatred for his enemies. Unfortunately, this too was met with enthusiastic support.

How have we, as Christians, become so perverted - so vitriolic? The Amen Effect by Sharon Brous provides some ideas. The author shares that we have become tribal by following, to unhealthy extremes, our instinct to seek out others who share our views. We have come to the conclusion that there is only an “us” and “them,” and that the other side is not only wrong, but evil at its core. I have been tribal…I have encircled myself with like-minded friends and demonized my “them” – in my case, those on the political right. Tribalism closes us off to forgiveness, grace, and mercy.

What is the solution? Brous calls us to live in the breach. To purposefully insert ourselves with our “them,” whomever they may be. She goes on to suggest we do so to listen rather than persuade – to start dialogue rather than to dominate it.

Jesus lived in the breach every day. As Christians, we need to be where Jesus was and is. I need God’s fire here. What about you?

Leaning into Mercy

As this year ends, let us commit to living in the breach. Find a few individuals with whom you share little other than humanity and start a dialogue. Listen more than talk. Allow God to work in these spaces to encourage mercy wherever it is needed.

Closing Prayer

“Holy Spirit, trouble me and guide me. Speak to me and show me your will. I long to be obedient, responding to your call on me” (Mercado Reyes)

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